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A Chance to Live

A partner talks about her frustration with the lack of acceptance for her transgender wife & the community.

Society has wrongfully taught us that the transgender population should be looked at as “less than” the rest of this planet's inhabitants. On a daily basis, transgender people deal with discrimination from employers, landlords, coworkers, family members, and ignorant people everywhere. It is no wonder that so many deal with internalized transphobia and try to suppress their urges to come out. Hearing things like “You will never be a real man,” or “You are just a dude in a dress,” starts to take seed inside the brain. They too start to believe these things and hate themselves for wanting to be the authentic person that lies dormant inside of them.

I had the opportunity to meet some children at a pride event this past weekend who all identify under the transgender umbrella. What an amazing group of little people. To be so self-aware and so brave at such a young age was utterly astonishing to me. For some of these little gender warriors, this was the first time that they were in the company of other transgender folks and they were so excited. Just to know that they are not alone in the world made me smile. I made sure to tell each and every one of them that I admired them for being courageous, out, and proud. Too many transgender folks come out late in life because of the way society views them, and it is so very unfair. All they want is a chance to live.

"FROM MY PERSPECTIVE AS THE PARTNER, I CONSTANTLY FEEL AS THOUGH I AM BEING JUDGED FOR STAYING WITH MY SPOUSE THROUGH HER TRANSITION AND CONTINUING TO LOVE HER FOR BEING HER AUTHENTIC SELF."

From my perspective as the partner, I constantly feel as though I am being judged for staying with my spouse through her transition and continuing to love her for being her authentic self. By family, friends, and acquaintances alike. I sometimes imagine what they all might say to each other behind my back. Luckily, I have a thick skin and could care less what they all think of me and the choices that I have made in my life. And the simple truth is, if they were happy in their own lives and with their own relationships, then they would have nothing to say about mine. Miserable people cannot help it but try to infect other people with their misery. If only more people were in therapy.

The transgender family that we have found through our journey is more loving and accepting than my own, and we are grateful for each and every one of them. However, there are too many transgender people out there who have no acceptance or love in their lives. It all needs to end. The hatred, intolerance, and discrimination have got to stop. We are all just humans, meant to share this planet in harmony for the very short time that we get to roam it. I am tired of defending the choice I made to love my wife, and I am over my wife being the butt of society's joke. Transgender people are the same as every cisgender person out there who dreams and hopes of finding happiness. They deserve the same rights and opportunities afforded everyone else.

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