In what is surely a sign of the impending demise of our civilization, Democratic legislators in New York state are considering a bill which would force manufacturers to make detergent pods “look less appetizing.” This is in response to the “Tide Pod Challenge,” in which supposedly sapient mammals are intentionally ingesting laundry detergent.
I don’t know what is more perplexing here: the fact that some people are purposely eating soap, or the fact that lawmakers feel the need to pass a law meant to dissuade people from doing something which is so obviously harmful that it boggles the mind that people are doing it willingly, rather than being subjected to it as a method of torture. During the Bush administration, if it had been reported that detainees at Club Gitmo were being force-fed Tide Pods, people would have been up in arms about this cruel and unusual punishment. But now people are eating these things as part of an internet “challenge!” NY’s response is to propose a law which would require the pods to be “packaged in a uniform color, as well as requiring each pod to be individually wrapped in plastic complete with a warning label.”
A warning label!? What would it say? “Don’t eat laundry detergent?” “Hey, this is for cleaning clothes, not your digestive system?” “Did you get this out of your pantry? No? Then, don’t eat it.” Or, perhaps we’ve finally gotten to the point where labels need to say simply: “Not Food!” or “Food.”
This would certainly simplify things, except perhaps a further labeling for “Food” items would be required in order to designate whether they can be eaten raw or require cooking (I actually saw someone post on Facebook recently about eating “seared chicken,” so I guess there’s no accounting for common sense).
As for me, I think I’ll go find a snack. Hopefully I can make it past the laundry room and those appetizing packs of detergent to find something labeled “Food” in the pantry. Uh oh, we store straws and plastic utensils there as well: Food or Not Food? (This would be a good game show in the not-too-distant “Idiocracy” to which we seem to be headed).