What Happened, Hillary? It’s Her Deplorable New Book

What Happened

That’s the title of Hillary’s Clinton’s new book being released by Simon & Schuster on Sept. 12. Seriously… I’m not making that title up. Stop laughing so hard, or you might pass out.

We hear that the release date may have been pushed back a few times. Every time Hillary emailed the final draft to the publisher, it kept getting deleted when the server went down. Fortunately, some IT professionals from Russia got it sorted out.

But seriously, the book covers her 2016 campaign and the largest blown lead in recent political memory. The title sums up Clinton’s shock at her complete collapse. Topics covered include alleged Russian involvement, mistakes by her campaign, and the role that “sexism” supposedly played. As if none of these issues have been covered by the media already.

The book is supposed to give an insider look at events as they unfolded, taking the reader along for the ride with Hillary the whole way.

According to the publisher, What Happened “takes you inside the intense personal experience of becoming the first woman nominated for president by a major party.” For those who wondered what Clinton was really thinking during those debates, when Trump hovered menacingly over her shoulder or called her a “nasty woman,” the book also promises to reveal “what it was like to run against Donald Trump,” whom Simon & Schuster describes as “an opponent who broke all the rules.”

Please, no! America just spent the last 24 years with Hillary. Why would we pay to relive it?

It’s not like it’s all that uncommon to run against Trump anyway. 16 others ran against him in the GOP primary. It’s probably a shorter list of who didn’t face him. And Carly Fiorina was one of those 16 primary challengers, who is… wait for it… a woman! Gasp! And Carly did a better job handling Trump than Hillary ever did, despite Trump and Clinton being long-time friends and former political allies. He was a major donor to her, and she went to his wedding. But he still caught her off-guard?

Besides, why is she complaining? The Clintons have no one to blame but themselves for Trump. Bill is the one who encouraged him to run in the first place.

But if Hillary really wants to know What Happened, Twitter had some ideas:

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But the short answer to What Happened is:

Since What Happened is such a terrible title, our own, Steve Berman, had a better suggestion:

But, you know,

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