Pop quiz, kiddies! Guess what Mark Roberts—some liberal Democrat you’ve never heard of, who is apparently running for Congress in Oregon—has in common with Bill Kristol, the ostensibly conservative editor of the Weekly Standard? If you answered that both have a rather unhealthy fixation with the name Trump, the come on down and claim your prize.
Let‘s start with Roberts. I’ll admit that I didn’t even know who the guy was until I opened up Twitter this morning, and saw all kinds of outrage being spilled over some tweet he had made. Outrage on Twitter of all places, you may scoff? Hard as it may be to believe, it’s true. Instead of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez fuming over being called a girl, though, there was actually some legit disgust with Roberts after he—well, let’s just allow his Byronesque eloquence to speak for itself, shall we?
Yes, this man is running for Congress, folks.
Setting aside for the moment the blatant misogyny at work here, is this really the best that Roberts can do? If so, it doesn’t bode very well for the man’s intellect. His insult of the First Lady is not only baseless and crass, it isn’t in the least bit clever. Roberts strikes me as the kind of dweeb who goes to Dunkin Donuts, waits for somebody to order a long john, then snickers, “That’s what she said!” And what’s with this trolling Charlie Kirk, for heaven’s sake? Was Alex Jones not showing Roberts enough love? That’s only slightly less pathetic than Eminem trying to get Donald Trump to pay attention to him—but not by much.
One thing I will give Roberts, though. Based on the lameness of the jokes in the rest of his Twiter feed, he obviously writes all his own material. Either that, or he hired the same person Hillary used at a steep discount.
Which brings us to the other hilarity of the day:
Bill Kristol, the former editor-in-chief of The Weekly Standard, is considering challenging President Donald Trump in the 2020 Republican primary.
Kristol, who is consistently one of the most vocal anti-Trump Republicans, has been considering a run for months, a source familiar with Kristol’s thinking told The Daily Caller News Foundation.
Kristol, who remains an editor-at-large for the Standard, said he has no plans to run but declined to rule it out when asked by TheDCNF.
“No plans to run. But I’m randomly in Boston today, and happen to have had lunch with someone who does a lot of work in New Hampshire,” Kristol wrote in an email. “As he’d say, ‘Ya nevah know.'”
And as Chief Brody said in Jaws, “The kids are in the yahd not to fah from the cah.”
Not to put too fine a point on it, but the GOP base holds Bill Kristol in about the same regard that Rose McGowan holds Harvey Weinstein. The idea that he could get many people outside his immediate family to cast a vote for him is highly suspect at best. The only way he could make his chances worse would be if he picked Evan McMullin for his running mate—which, while being a political disaster, would at least make for a pretty good buddy comedy. Instead of Tango & Cash, they could call it Blando & Crash.
So why even bother? Vanity, no doubt, has something to do with it—but Kristol has also shown that a certain segment of the #NeverTrump right isn’t immune to the lure virtue signaling either. Not content to simply let the president fail, as they predicted he would—or simply having lost patience because he hasn’t failed quickly enough—they’ve now resorted to taking affirmative steps to make that failure happen, lest they be proven wrong.
Either way, an obsession with Trump is what drives Kristol and his ilk—an obsession he shares with the likes of Mark Roberts. Pro tip, gentlemen: It’s not a good look on either one of you.