The Make America Dumb Again Trio Strikes Again

There’s nobody in America smarter than a plumber, a car mechanic, or an electrician working in the fields in which they’ve been trained.

And there’s nobody dumber than an actor or celebrity expounding on things about which they have no idea, which is most things.

Leonardo DiCaprio wants everyone to know that “people in office who do not believe in facts and truths and modern science that are able to manipulate and risk the entire future of this entire generation” should not be…in office.

He told this to former Secretary of State John Kerry in front of a group of climate change groupies at Yale University, a place where he, apart from his ability to look good for a camera and speak lines from a script, would not be welcome beyond a job cleaning floors or bussing tables.

DiCaprio has rather impressive educational credentials to be making this remark. A high school dropout after three years, he apparently possesses a general equivalency diploma. Impressively bereft of higher education, I’d say.

But he “believes in facts and truths and modern science.” I’d rather listen to my plumber, who can fix things and figure out why a sink won’t drain.

Now Jimmy Kimmel is a bit more educated and highbrow. He actually made it through high school and attended UNLV for a year, and ASU for another two years before giving up on higher education.

Listen, there’s something to say about being likable and relatable to people (at least publicly). That’s how many people in TV and radio get where they are. Kimmel got his break appearing with Ben Stein, who actually earned a Yale Law degree (valedictorian in 1970) by, you know, attending Yale as a law student.

Yet, because Stein believes in stuff like the Biblical creationism of intelligent design, he’s not qualified to speak at his alma mater, according to the DiCaprio doctrine, because he doesn’t believe enough in “facts.” Or in the power of celebrities to explain everything

And there’s Chelsea Handler. She had the terrible distinction of being a not-rich Jew in New Jersey, and fled to Los Angeles instead of attending college to develop her true talent: waitressing. That’s what most actresses in the throes of self-actualization crises do while waiting for discovery. Handler, at least, is sometimes funny.

She’s even funny when she’s trying to be serious.

Oh that’s a knee-slapper. I bet Kim is on the floor, rolling around like a flicked Skittle, roaring with side-splitting laughter.

I really don’t have to tell you the truth here, do I? Because you already know it.

Celebrities are generally ignorant. Sometimes they’re outright stupid. The louder they shout their opinions, generally the more ignorant, uninformed and stupid those opinions are.

And yet they’re honored and placed on platforms with people who want to fawn over them and get their autographs and take selfies with them, so these uneducated hacks can spew their uninformed opinions on a variety of issues like health care and foreign policy.

If you combine Leonardo DiCaprio, Chelsea Handler and Jimmy Kimmel’s curricula vitae, you could not extract enough credits for a four-year college degree.

Not all celebrities are as educationally and intellectually bereft as the Make America Dumb Again trio–Mayim Bialik has a Ph.D. in neuroscience. James Franco is an inveterate didact, with more degrees than the proverbial mercury thermometer and enough English chops to challenge J.R.R. Tolkien’s ghost to a contest of pedantry.

But it’s the terminally uninformed that tend to bleat the loudest.

Now where’s my plumber? I want to ask him if we should nuke North Korea.

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