It's widely known that Nancy Pelosi is rich beyond the dreams of avarice. That's kind of a prerequisite if you want to live in San Francisco, where the median price for a 1100 square foot home that also happens to be the site of a ritualistic quadruple homicide and is rumored to be haunted by the flatulent ghost of Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey still runs north of a million. So with all that money, you'd think that Pelosi could afford to hire at least one decent joke writer--somebody who could have saved her from the comedy of errors detailed in the POLITICO story here:
Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi complained Thursday that immigration negotiations are being led by "five white guys" — and was quickly rebuked by her No. 2, Minority Whip Steny Hoyer, himself one of those white guys involved in the talks.
“The five white guys I call them, you know," Pelosi said at her weekly news conference. "Are they going to open a hamburger stand next or what?” Pelosi said, complaining that minority members of Congress were not involved in deciding the fate of Dreamers.
Honestly, I haven't laughed so hard since that time Joe Biden said, “You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent." Of course, Uncle Joe added that he wasn't kidding--but with Pelosi, I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. The Five Guys remark probably sounded pretty good in her head. There were just a few flaws in the execution--much like in the Bay of Pigs invasion, or the Ghostbusters remake. If this doesn't serve as a warning about the perils of Botox usage, I don't know what will.
Still, you have to give Pelosi credit for trying. After all, Donald Trump can't carry the burden of livening up our politics all on his own. Leave it to that killjoy Steny Hoyer, however, to rain on the Pelosi parade. “That comment is offensive," Nancy's Number Two stated. "I am committed to ensuring DREAMers are protected and I will welcome everyone to the table who wants to get this done." Steny, baby! Did the doctors accidentally remove your funny bone the last time you went in for your annual physical? Your party already suffers from a humor deficit even bigger than the ones Obama put on the national tab. Let Nancy be Nancy, for pity's sake.
Now who's for burgers? I think I might know a pretty good place.