Mooching Off Monica

With Donald Trump seeming to throttle back on Twitter a bit–his last tweet about Mitch McConnell failing to repeal and replace Obamacare was pretty tame by his usual standards

somebody had to take up the bad boy mantle, lest we become bored with the petty fulminations coming out of Washington. Happily, disgraced former White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci was ready to step in with his own special brand of mojo, and prove that the Donald isn’t the only Twitter game in town.

The Mooch, as he’s affectionately known, recently took to the social media platform in an attempt to cast himself as a tragic hero in the story of his own fall from grace. There were a lot of dramatic choices he could have made for such an allegory–Icarus, Prometheus, King Lear–that could illustrate in vivid detail the classic theme of pride bringing down even the loftiest of ambitions. The Mooch, however, seems to have misplaced his copy of Shakespeare for Dummies, as his mind has wandered into somewhat more lurid territory:

Yes, Linda Tripp. You remember–she’s the lady who recorded her conversations with a certain White House intern as she detailed her rather subservient relationship with Bill Clinton. Which leaves us to ponder: If Ryan Lizza, the reporter who exposed Scaramucci’s penchant for graphic anecdotes in the pages of The New Yorker, is Linda Tripp, does that make the Mooch. . .Monica Lewinsky?

Man, we just can’t get away from that phallic imagery, can we?

As for me, I’m still trying to figure out where Steve Bannon fits in with this particular metaphor. Maybe he’s the Bill Clinton figure, since Mooch described Bannon as being in flagrante delicto with himself, but I’m at a loss as to where the blue dress fits in with all of this. It’s pretty obvious, though, that Mooch feels that he’s the one carrying the stain of the whole sordid affair–and all the Ajax in the world ain’t gonna clean that dirty laundry.

Keep the tweets coming, Mooch! I can’t wait to see what’s next!

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