Corvette Summer actor Mark Hamill, who just came out with some new movie called The Last Jedi, decided to put his rediscovered fame to work as so many Hollywood types do: by spouting off on a subject of which he knows little, if anything at all. I can say this with the utmost confidence because the topic in question is net neutrality—a subject, much like the series finale of Lost, that nobody really understands but for some reason makes a lot of people mad.
I think it might have something to do with the fear that Donald Trump will throttle The Handmaid’s Tale while making everybody watch back episodes from The Apprentice, although I could be wrong about that. Whatever the reason, though, liberals have been running around with their hair on fire ever since the FCC scrapped the regulations last week. Hamill—apparently having derived expertise on all things technical from that time he spent with his friends at Toshi Station picking up power converters—decided to join the fray by trolling FCC Commissioner Ajit Pai:
Oh, Master Skywalker! Do you not remember the wise words of Master Yoda when he told you, “A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack?” Particularly an attack that makes you look like a lame sourpuss? Alas, I suppose that’s to be expected since Hamill spent the better part of The Last Jedi acting like. . .well, a lame sourpuss. That bit about Pai being unworthy to wield a light saber is also pretty hilarious, considering that in the movie Hamill chucked one over his shoulder like an empty beer can after Rey handed it to him.
Ted Cruz, meanwhile, sensing a Deadspin-esque opportunity to have some fun, tweeted the following in response:
You gotta admit, he has a point. Darth Vader said he only wanted to restore order to the galaxy. Would he want anything less for the internet?
This being 2017, though, the rebels are now all in for big government, as Hamill fired back:
Damn, there he goes all sourpuss again. Is Hamill a Method actor or something? Dude, the movie is finished! You can get out of character now. Maybe get another Corvette, track down Annie Potts and hit the road together again this summer. Now there’s a sequel that might actually be some fun!
Until then, might I suggest that you offer to debate Senator Cruz on why you think he’s wrong on net neutrality? I’m sure it would be an illuminating experience. Just ask Bernie Sanders.