Louis C.K. Gets Abortion Right (and Left)

Comedian Louis C.K. has this riff he does about abortion in his 2017 Netflix special. Not a funny topic, but he has a way of getting past all the fuzzy definitions.

“Here’s what I think…” Louis C.K. doesn’t really take a pro- position on life or choice–it’s rather in the ears of the listener, kind of like a verbal Rorschach. But he leaves no room for equivocation.

“I think abortion is exactly like taking a s\**. I think it is 100 percent the exact same thing,” he said, before switching gears. “Or it isn’t. It is or it isn’t. It’s either taking a s*** or it’s killing a baby. It’s only one of those two things. It’s no other things.”*

It’s no other things. You can’t claim it’s a clump of cells. Yes, it’s a clump of cells, but so were you at one point. There was no other you besides that clump of cells. You can’t claim it’s not a baby. Yes, it’s unborn, but so were you before you were born.

You can’t claim it’s not human. Human mother plus human father’s DNA yields a human. You can only claim that either killing a human being before he or she is born is as banal as defecating, or that it’s murder. There’s no middle ground.

Fetal pain, viability, personhood, “my body,” those are all middle ground arguments. Louis C.K. dispenses with the rhetoric, exposing the true nature of the issue.

Abortion is murder, therefore those who believe it’s murder have a duty to protect the innocent.

So, if you didn’t like hearing that it’s like taking a s\**, you think it’s killing a baby. That’s the only other one you get to have, which means you should be holding a sign in front of the place. People hate abortion protestors. ‘They’re so shrill and awful. They think babies are being murdered.’ What are they supposed to be like? ‘Uh, that’s not cool. … I don’t want to ruin their day as they murder several babies all the time.’” […]*

If abortion isn’t murder, then it’s just another elective medical procedure, like lancing a boil.

I don’t think it’s killing a baby, I don’t. I mean, it is. It’s a – it’s a little bit – it’s a little bit killing a baby. It’s a little bit. It’s a 100% killing a baby. It is – it’s totally killing a whole baby, but I think that women should be allowed to kill babies. They should be allowed to kill babies. I just think it has to be one or the other. You know, like when people say, ‘Abortion should be legal, safe and rare.’ Why rare if it should be legal? If it should be legal it’s s\***ing. If it should be rare, it’s murdering babies*

Exactly. There’s no such thing as “legal, safe, and rare.” That’s like saying arson should be legal, safe, and rare. “It’s my house.”

“Those people living in my house were inconveniencing me. I wanted to be rid of them. It’s not their house, it’s mine.” How’s that fly in court?

The genius George Carlin once took on the abortion issue, according to Jason Zinoman’s New York Times piece.

He framed the issue as one between those who believe a fetus is a baby and those who don’t, then staked out his position. “I believe it’s a baby, and we should kill it,” Carlin said, give or take a profanity.

Carlin pretty well represents the pro-choice position. Killing babies. Louis C.K. doesn’t waste time with the “believe it’s a baby” part. It’s a baby, now take a side.

Zinoman called the Netflix special “extremely funny.” Killing babies isn’t funny. But pro-choice Americans want to play games with it. If they didn’t try to cover it up with euphemisms and fuzzy language like “choice,” “reproductive rights” and “women’s health” they’d be left with infanticide, vivisection and trafficking in human body parts from the most innocent of lives.

Maybe the unfunny comedy bit should be more like this. “I kill babies but I’m not a monster because I call it something else. I don’t think it’s wrong to kill little humans as long as I don’t have to see their bodies myself. It’s just something we do to avoid being a parent. There’s no long term effects, other than depression, suicidal thoughts, and a lifetime of regret. But it’s definitely worth it to be free of that dependent little human who can’t do anything for itself.”

And the pro-life side: “You’re a monster who will live with regret for the rest of your life.”

Watch it yourself if you don’t mind profanity and crude attempts at humor.

*** WARNING: PROFANITY, STRONG LANGUAGE ***

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