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International House of Prayer going IHOb: A Parody

The charismatic worship center is following the lead of the International House of Burgers.

Moved by the sincerity of IHOP’s desire to expand its scope and title into the realm of burgers (as IHOP doesn’t want to be known just for breakfast) International House of Prayer wants the world to know that this IHOP isn’t just about prayer. Their specialty is not limited to the mundane world of prayer, but rather the colorful world of blasphemy.

International House of Prayer is now the International House of Blasphemy, IHOb for short.

Why limit yourself to something you’re not really doing anyway?

Did IHOP serve only pancakes?

Courtesy of Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

Definition of blasphemy

plural blasphemies

1 a : the act of insulting or showing contempt or lack of reverence for God

b : the act of claiming the attributes of a deity

2 : irreverence toward something considered sacred or inviolable

"This is our mission statement," says Mike Bickle, founder of IHOP, “We have to embrace contempt for the scriptures; otherwise my anointing and the prophetic utterances from the sainted Bob Jones will have no meaning.”

“We used to think that the Holy Spirit was all about conviction, regeneration, and conforming us to the likeness of the Son, but His wheelhouse is all about clouds of gold dust, angel feathers, and Tourette’s syndrome.”

Bickle is right. Is there a more powerful example of the Spirit’s majesty than the uncontrollable tics and convulsions of a college student on stage saying “ohh shhhiii… Oh shhhii…. I didn’t know the spirit was so good”?

Wait, what spirit are we talking about?

Nowhere in scripture do we find any description of the Holy Spirit that matches what occurs in Charismania. But we do find similarities to practices in other religions.

The convulsions exhibited by these poor students at IHOb do share a resemblance to Kundalini Spirits in Hinduism. Videos on YouTube, blog posts by various discernment ministries, and countless sermons and conferences have researched and discussed these practices at length.

While Christians must be careful while critiquing abuses of the Holy Spirit, that does not mean the Christians must tolerate scripturally aberrant practices even if they are of the Holy Spirit and not learned behavior, outright paganism, or actually demonic (a label I hesitate to use). But why would the Holy Spirit permit behavior contrary to scripture?

In 1st Corinthians, Paul clearly gives instructions for orderly worship. If we are to assume the legitimacy of every gift espoused by Charismatics, there are still limitations as to their practice.

As a former Pentecostal who had the privilege of attending a very orderly church, I am sympathetic to the cause of discernment/cessastionist ministries.

If there isn’t biblical restraint, IHOP will continue in its blasphemous abuses of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit has the power to sanctify the justified, preserve believers, sustain the world, and bring about true repentance in sinful men. Emphasizing trivial and unfounded mysticism robs a member of the Trinity of His glory. It's as out of place as burgers at a pancake joint.

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