Robert Altman's "hate letter to the fashion industry" movie "Ready to Wear" depicts a fashion show of entirely nude models (including a pregnant bride) that prompts a fashion commentator (played by Kim Bassinger) to a hysterical fit.
That was pretty much my reaction to this week's Gucci show.
For those of you who don't follow this sort of thing, the fashion industry is having "Fashion Week" in Paris now. That's the show they make all the movies about. Apparently, the point is not to present clothing that any human woman could actually wear in public, but to see who can produce the most bizarre offering imaginable and still talk people into overpaying for it.
This week, Gucci (the house that makes the ugliest designer handbags on the planet) put on a show with cross dressing models carrying sculptures of their own severed heads. Creative director Alessandro Michele based this horror show on the 1984 essay “A Cyborg Manifesto” by Donna Haraway. “Limiting fashion to something that only produces business is too easy,” Michele said. The severed heads were supposed to convey “looking after your head and thoughts.”
Yeah, whatever. We get it. You're an artist. But you're also supposed to be a clothing designer. Clothes can be fashionable but they also need to be functional.
I'm having a hard time deciding which is uglier: the models, or the clothes. I'm old enough to remember a time when both were beautiful. These clothes look like something your four-year-old would slap together but you wouldn't let her out of the house wearing it.
Maybe I'm just not sophisticated enough to appreciate this garbage. It's also way out of my price range (not to mention my SIZE RANGE.) I'm sure I speak for at least half the women in America in saying we don't want ghoulish artistic expressions, we want clothing that we can actually WEAR IN PUBLIC!!!! We'd absolutely love some sort of consistency in sizing, shoes we can walk in and pants with actual pockets on them.
Instead, we get this post-apocalyptic nightmare. Maybe that's why retailers are struggling so hard.