Am I the Only One Creeped Out By This?

White House Communications Directors should have an appreciation for their boss.

Frankly, all employees should at least respect those they work for. But, the newly-installed Communications Director for President Trump has taken company loyalty to a whole new level. Anthony Scaramucci, fittingly known by friends as “Mooch,” has a colorful and full story that brought him to the top. Or at least, serving the guy at the top.

During his 34 minute introduction yesterday we were given a fascinating, and at times disturbing glance into what happens when you sell yourself to the Trump circle – you begin to sound more like a 12-year-old girl at a Justin Bieber concert than a government official.

Some highlights from yesterday’s love session:

“The presidents a winner, OK? And what we’re going to do is a lot of winning.”

“I love the mission that the president has.”

“I love the president, I obviously love the country.”

“The President has very good karma, and the world eventually turns back to him.”

“He’s genuinely a wonderful human being.”

“I love the president. I’m very, very loyal to the president.”

“I love these guys. I respect these guys.”

“I love the president.”

“I’ll tell you what I find when I travel around the country, people love him.”

“The president is phenomenal with the press.”

“The president himself is always going to be the president.”

“I think he’s got some of the best political instincts in the world, and perhaps in history.”

“He’s done a phenomenal job for the American people.”

And the best zinger of the day…

“He’s the most competitive person I’ve ever met, OK? I’ve seen this guy throw a dead spiral through a tire. I’ve seen him at Madison Square Garden with a topcoat on. He’s standing in the key and he’s hitting foul shots and swishing them, ok? He sinks three foot putts.”

Ok. Sign me up.

Hey, they should tell Trump the Brooklyn Nets are looking for guys who can “swish.” Or, hit a shot at all. (Note: it’s pure coincidence that the Nets are owned by Putin ally and Russian oligarch Mikhail Prokhorov. I’m just throwing them a bone, since apparently he’s so athletic in every sport.)

Of course, it took only 20 minutes for stunned reporters to dig up the hundreds of statements and interviews with The Mooch over the years, supporting everyone from Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, to his disgusted remarks about Trump’s treatment of women, once calling him “a hack politician,” even calling him “very, very divisive, ” and his comments “anti-American.” On FoxBusiness of all places. He praised Hillary Clinton as “incredibly competent,” donated to her campaign, and helped Barack Obama raise funds among his wealthy friends.

We know from Trump’s anger with Robert Mueller’s special prosecution team that he doesn’t like Democrat donors. Then again, The Don himself was a lifelong donor to the same people. But, never mind that. This is different.

Some other inconvenient truths from the mouth of Trump’s new Communications Director over the years:

President Trump is “going to be the president of the Queens County Bullies Association.”

“I don’t like the way he talks about women.”

“The politicians don’t wanna go at trump because he’s got a big mouth and they’re afraid he’s gonna light them up on FoxNews.”

“You’re an inherited-money dude from Queens County. Bring it on, Don. You’re an inherited-money dude from Queens County.”

“This is right out of Elizabeth Warren’s playbook. Are you a Democratic plant for Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren? Stand here and prove otherwise.”

“He’s a class-divider.”

Of course, Mooch has apologized (I wonder if this included prancing on all fours, signing a loyalty pledge and singing “This Guy’s In Love With You”), as he told us Trump reminds him “every 15 seconds.”

This hero worship has inspired a wave of internet memes, especially for Queen fans.

Since making the changes, President Trump took to twitter and defended Scaramucci with an objectively ridiculous tweet that no one believes:

Yeah, right. Money and power do a lot to change a person, don’t they?

Perhaps this is a good example of what Ted Cruz meant when he referred to “New York values” in the 2015 debates:

So, the White House continues to play musical chairs with the rolodex of Manhattan spinners, and America gets to watch at least a little longer. As Jay Caruso recently pointed out, those hoping for a change will be disappointed, because only the surface has changed. One of the first words out of The Mooch’s mouth was wishing Spicer well, “and that he goes on to make a lot of money.” That’s all this is about, isn’t it?

I need a shower.

For the full briefing, watch here:

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