Dear Mr. Obama: With all due respect, shut up. You are proving the theory that former presidents should retire and confine themselves to writing memoirs and telling amusing stories.
Here you are, wending your way around the world and Europe (where they still love you because you weren’t their president), smugly telling everryone we should elect more women, after beating a woman in 2008, who also lost in 2016.
Former President Obama called for more women to be elected to office “because men seem to be having some problems these days," French news agency AFP reported.
But I happen to think you might be right, so let's examine all the reasons we should elect more women.
Let’s elect more women, because Hillary Clinton campaigned for Al Franken in 2008. We should trust her instincts, because she picks her candidates as well as she picks her husband, another paragon of sexual propriety.
Let’s elect more women, because Al Franken thinks he’s funny in his appropriately-titled book “Giant (Worm) of the Senate.”
The rules: “I could be funny in the office, but only with members of staff, not in meetings with visitors. It was also okay to be funny on the floor with my colleagues, as long as I wasn’t loud enough to be picked up by the C-SPAN microphones. And, for God’s sake, no physical humor!”
Let’s elect more women, because we need women in government, says the man who wouldn’t want to “punish [his daughters] with a baby” and therefore advocates killing babies in the womb.
Let’s elect more women, because Nancy Pelosi was so quick to defend John Conyers, until she realized that being an icon isn’t enough to overcome being a sleazebag. She should have checked with Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein and Roman Polanski first.
Let’s elect more women, because “rape culture” denies there’s a problem with oversexed women teachers seducing teenaged boys. Only boys grow up to be sexual predators, according to the Zeitgeist.
Let’s elect more women, because President Trump has more top women advisors and top staff in the White House than Obama (or any president) did. But Hope Hicks, Sarah Sanders, Kellyanne Conway, Ivanka Trump, Mercedes Schlapp and Omarosa Manigault don’t count.
Let’s elect more women, because disgraced convict and ex-Florida Rep. Corrine Brown is such a shining example of honesty and charity. After nearly 25 years in the House of Representatives, her bogus charity, One Door for Education, only opened the door to her bank account.
Let’s elect more women, said Obama, but not women like Sarah Palin.
“I see a straight line from the announcement of Sarah Palin as the vice-presidential nominee to what we see today in Donald Trump, the emergence of the Freedom Caucus, the tea party, and the shift in the center of gravity for the Republican Party,” Obama said [in a 2016 interview with The New Yorker].
But we all know what Obama meant when he said “let’s elect more women.” He meant “let’s elect more Democrats.”
So, kindly, Mr. Obama, go back to planning your massive library, get out of Washington, D.C., and most of all, shut up.