Well hi! I'm back to solve your college football watching conundrums! And I don't know about you, but after this crazy political week I NEEEEEEEEEEED ME SOME COLLEGE FOOTBALL.
Sadly, though, there's not that much for me to do this week. We've got a weekend full of mostly meh games, but some could turn good with the right bounce of the ball. (Didn't want to go with "throw of the dice" there. Non-topical turns of phrase are very uncool.)
Let's not delay any further. On with the picks! As always, times are in CST.
Big Screen: It's the obvious choice, right? Texas vs. Oklahoma (11a, FOX) should be on most everyone's TV screen for the early slate. This game always turns out a little strange points-wise, and should make for fun viewing, even if Oklahoma's been a little suspect on defense and Texas looks more than a tad overrated.
Second Screen: Maryland vs. Michigan (11a, ABC) is one of those matchups that could be really mistake-filled (and thus silly) or really stabby (and thus fun). Jim Harbaugh's last chance season at Michigan is not turning out super well, and the Terps have already spoiled one embattled coach's good time this year (yes, Tom Herman, I'm talking about you). On the other hand, Michigan QB Shea Patterson torches suspect defenses.
Watch the Score: Alabama vs. Arkansas (11a, ESPN)
Big Screen: Two somewhat surprising squads face off in the afternoon SEC game, LSU vs. Florida (2:30p, CBS). LSU seems to have found a QB and are done being dismissed as just a defensive squad, but Florida looked alright last week against Mississippi State. Maybe their troubles are over? Or can LSU stay on track for that battle of undefeateds with Alabama in a month?
Second Screen: Indiana vs. Ohio State (3p, FOX) will be that one game this year where Indiana alllllllmost beats a Big 10 team, I think. Ohio State may be overlooking this one after a really emotional game last week. Call it a hunch. Regardless, even though Indiana knows how to play a fun game of football, I expect Ohio State to continue their unceasing slow plod toward an inevitable playoff spot.
Watch the Score: Iowa vs. Minnesota (2:30p, Big Ten Network); Arizona State vs. Colorado (3p, PAC 12 Network)
Big Screen: I would not have picked this out for a good matchup at the start of the season, but Kentucky vs. Texas A&M (6p, ESPN) should be your big game this evening. Kentucky plays consistently within themselves and their RB Benny Snell is a legitimate Heisman contender. If they get past the Aggies, the Wildcats could seriously contend for a playoff spot, and that's hilarious and awesome. But the Ags are no slouches this year, and Kentucky's D hasn't faced a talent like A&M QB Kellen Mond yet. Did I also mention the Aggies are at home? Yeah, this will be fun.
Second Screen: Hey, remember when Virginia Tech lost to Old Dominion a few weeks ago? ESPN doesn't! Notre Dame vs. Virginia Tech (7p, ABC) is their featured broadcast TV game this week, and perhaps the last chance for a moderately good team to give the Irish some trouble this year. After they squeaked by opponents for the first few weeks, new signal-caller Ian Book has Notre Dame humming. There's always the chance something strange could happen, though.
Watch the Score: Auburn vs. Mississippi State (6:30p, ESPN2)
Big Screen: This portion of the week's slate is a barren wasteland. California vs. Arizona (9p, FS1) should be fine, with two struggling PAC-12 teams competing to see who can make the fewest mistakes, but if you wanted to skip it I wouldn't call you a bad fan. I probably will.
Oh by the way, if you want to hear more decidedly non-expert college football talk and game predictions from yours truly, I have a podcast you can check out as well! It's @backporchtalk on Twitter; you can't miss it. Follow the link in the description to our YouTube channel and subscribe for new episodes every week!