So, who are we supposed to believe?

With all the allegations sexual abuse coming out, how do we decide which one are real?

I've been an advocate for sexual assault victims for years. Especially for the victims of child molestation. And there are patterns that you notice whenever these cases become public.

First of all, there is doubt about the accuser. Is she telling the truth? Was this actually a CRIME? If the alleged perpetrator is famous there is question about her motive. And if the incident occurred in the past, the big question is always "So, why did she wait until NOW to speak up?"

And these are all valid questions.

Second, the accused always denies it. Seriously, when has a man ever said "She's right, I'm guilty. And I am resigning/turning myself over to the authorities for prosecution." Instead, we get "I did not have sex with that woman."

Then comes the attempts to discredit the accuser. "Did you see those pictures on her Facebook page? You know she used to work for the opposing party. She has a history of sexual promiscuity. She was drunk."

Sometimes the victim is able to offer up physical proof. The Clinton machine was in high gear to destroy Monica Lewinsky's credibility and would have succeeded if she hadn't forgotten to take her dress to the cleaners. Al Franken was kind enough to take pictures. But in most cases, there are no witnesses. There is no physical evidence. There is just the word of the victims. But the courage of one often leads to the admissions of others. Eventually, 50 women were willing to publicly claim they were assaulted by Bill Cosby.

This is what absolutely wrecked me about the Jerry Sandusky case. Mike McQueary walked in on Sandusky sodomizing a boy in the shower. And he did NOTHING. (No, telling Joe Paterno about it doesn't count.) Can you imagine what was going through the mind of that poor child? Because the most important weapon a sexual predator has, what you hear over and over from the victims is the assurance of the predators:

"NOBODY WILL EVER BELIEVE YOU."

One of Roy Moore's accusers tearfully shared her story the Moore molested her as a teenager. When she finally got away from him, she claims he told her "You’re just a child, I am the district attorney of Etowah County and if you tell anyone about this no one will ever believe you.’”

Now, don't misunderstand me. You are under absolutely no obligation to believe some stranger's account that you're reading on the internet. If you're on a jury and fate of a man's life is in your hands, you absolutely must evaluate the testimony of the victims. But, can we please agree on one thing: You need to believe the women in your life.

When a friend tells her story, believe her. Support her. When your wife complains about the guys at work telling dirty jokes don't tell her she's making to big of a deal out of it. If she expresses anger or fear about a boss, friend or family member, don't assume she's being ridiculous.

And for the love of God please believe your children. If they don't want to visit a friend's house, or go to youth group, or spend the night at Grandpa's, don't dismiss their feelings - especially if this is a change in behavior.

The silence of victims, the ignorance of others, these are the most powerful weapons a sexual predator has. THIS IS WHY THE ASSHOLES KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT. How many parents told their children "Father So-and-So wouldn't DO a thing like that." "Oh, don't be silly. Uncle Steve is just being friendly." Hell, Dennis Hastert kept a lounge chair in the locker room so that he could watch his wrestlers shower AND NOBODY THOUGHT THAT WAS WEIRD???"

For every case of a celebrity or politician accused of sexual misconduct, there are millions of anonymous scumbags out their preying on innocent victims. They continue to do it because too few people are willing to stop them.

Comments
No. 1-7
MarkBerwind
MarkBerwind

After 40 years, the woman reading from a script and blowing her schnoz constantly, is believable? And the bit with Gloria Allred standing next to her when Gloria Allred is well known for pulling stunts, like this. Don't ask me to suspend my belief, okay? I will bet a woman who had some serious event has already cried her last tears over the event, many years earlier, and would mostly be cold as can be when going back through the event, after so much time has passed. But you're going to say it and I'm going to admit that I'm not a woman, so I'll let you try to get away with making me suspend belief. Of course, I haven't believed this nonsense, from the beginning, and I think there are other factors involved in this whole charade.

etbass
etbass

I think it obvious Moore dated teenagers in his 30s. Different people have different levels of disgust with that. Today it is taboo, as it should be. In 1979, in Etowah County, Alabama, it may not have been the norm, but it wasn't that unusual. 2 of the original 3 16-18 year olds had mothers that were enthusiastic about them dating Moore.

That leaves us 2 allegations of sexual assault. The Nelson accusation has lots of holes. They won't let anyone see the yearbook, which Moore admantly denies that is his signature. I'm nothing of an expert, but it doesn't look right. The 7's don't match. The writing is different than the signature. The restaurant is printed and the rest is cursive. Its dated twice. Plus Moore's assistant's initials show up, which matches Nelson's divorce paperwork. She claims no contact, yet he presided over her divorce. And her son-in-law says she's making it up. Those factors, make me believe that Nelson's story is not true.

We are then left with the Corfman allegation. Maybe it's true, but it doesn't match any other allegations. Moore never made sexual advances on anyone else. Plus why does a 14 year old need watching in front of a courthouse in the day, in 1979 Etowah County?

There too many holes and too many things that don't add up. If Moore was the local mall creeper, someone would have mentioned that through 3 local campaigns, 5 statewide campaigns, and 2 national legal controversies. The media would crawl over broken glass for that story. Yet, nothing was printed, ever.

The Washinton post could help a lot. Who did the rumor come from? How did they know about it? How did they find these women? Random calls? That could answer a lot of questions.

DrRansom
DrRansom

Certainly not someone who goes by "NeverTrumpGal"....

thewordgirl
thewordgirl

It seems like the doubters are assuming that the democrats just keep finding and trucking out desperate women, day after day, paying them untraceable hush money, figuring no one on the GOP side could possibly be smart enough to catch them at it? Even under daily scrutiny and suspicion, they just keep on doing it? Even though the "gag" is getting pretty old (and stays questionable) they just keep on doing the same routine? Doesn't it just seem like there would be a point where the dems (or McConnell, depending on the commenter) would start thinking: "we're gonna get caught at this ruse any day now; one of our liar-ladies is gonna rat us out; maybe we should try a different trick; besides, this one isn't working." Now, be it far from me to give credit for intelligence to any of the above folks, but logic alone should tell you that this isn't a long-running gag that is just too much fun for them to stop.

Jonah_Kyle
Jonah_Kyle

"We need to err on the side of protecting the vulnerable... even as we remember that the accused are innocent until proven guilty."

This is precisely why the revelation was done at the time, to maximize the likelihood that a Democrat was going to be elected in office. The problem is that Moore should have been vetted long before he ran for senator, because the Democrats will ALWAYS hold their fire until the most opportune time. And now, Alabama is on the cusp of voting in a Democrat in a state that is 30%, at most, progressive. It's like getting Ted Cruz elected in New Jersey. We conservatives MUST hit our primaries hard.