I Am a Man, Not a Monster

NYT Op-Ed claims men are monsters and masculinity should be destroyed.

Stephen Marche, a ‘culture’ writer, decided that the traditional concept of masculinity is monstrous, rapey, and we men must change.

I have a few things to say to ‘Mr.’ Marche: Masculinity, and a man’s sex drive, is not the problem. Restraint is the problem. It is a common liberal thought process (term used lightly) to wish to destroy something because it was misused or abused by a minority. Gun control is the most obvious of these. Well, I have something to tell you, Mr. Marche: I’m a man and intend to stay that way.

Most men my age were taught to be a man by our fathers. For me, I was taught to buck up, carry on, and present myself as a man should. Head held high. I was taught to value hard work and by extension to provide for and protect my family. These values go back for tens of thousands of years. Frankly, you can even find similar values in most primate species. That’s how ingrained masculinity is.

There are negative aspects as well. And they run just as deep. Aggression, territoriality, and to concede a small point to Marche, portions of our libido.

Marche suggests we repress these things, neutering ourselves in the process. I learned restraint. Control. I learned to think before speaking and especially to think before acting. I honor the covenant I made with my wife, in the presence of God and my family. There are days when it is more difficult than others. Does that make me a monster? Does it make me unfaithful? No. My restraint makes me stronger. My commitment to my covenant brings me closer to my wife and to my God.

A true man also learns to channel the negative aspects of his psyche. I focus my aggression into the energy to produce something of value. I use my competitiveness to improve myself and my work product. This is what men do.

Creatures like Harvey Weinstein, and his ilk, have no self control. They’ve let their power corrupt them because they don’t have the ability to focus and to control the negative aspects of their masculinity.

This makes those men wrong, not the whole concept of masculinity.

Liberal thought wants to remove any aspect of the traditional male from our society. Even if they have to sacrifice their own to do it. It is up to us to prevent that from happening by continuing to be the men we always wanted to be when we were boys.

I, for one, will never let go of my masculinity. I will control it and never let it take control of me. And I am teaching the same to my son. He is a boy now, but I will teach him what it means to be a Man.