Million dollar vibrator? Sure. Why not?

The most expensive Sex toy in the world.

Wanna spend a millon bucks on a vibrator? Well, now you can. Meet the Pearl Royale, the most expensive sex toy in the World. This diamond encrusted platinum shaft has a price tag of 1.3 million dollars. Yep, you read that correctly. That's a lot of money to put out just to get off. But that's not what this is about, right? With something as insane as this? It's gotta be about bragging rights. About being able to say "I have a million dollar vibrator. Look at me!" And that's fine, because it doesn't look like you're going to have a million dollar orgasm with this thing. It doesn't look... how shall I say, "vagina friendly." Really not sure about how many ladies are excited to have diamond chip covered vibe anywhere near their love button. It seems counter intuitive. That's what I'm saying. I've never had a girl ask me to help her out with an orgasm by rubbing a series of precious metal chips on her "little man in the canoe." I really don't think the "man in the canoe" would dig it. Actually sounds kind of mean, really. But I'm not here to judge. Maybe someone's into that. Bless your pain loving heart. You should think about robbing a series of banks and getting a "Pearl Royale"

Side bar: I checked, but couldn't find out if this beauty runs on batteries or not. That would be hilarious. You bring out a diamond coated million dollar sex toy and have to unscrew the top and plop in 2 Duracell batteries. Kinda kills the "I'm a super rich sexy guy" atmosphere. "Are you ready to experience the ultimate in sexy opulent pleasure? Hold on a sec... I gotta run to Rite Aid and get some Eveready's." ( But again, I judge. Sorry)

The heart wants what the heart wants. And I guess the same is true for vaginas. If you can afford it? Go for it. This over the top Vibe is available from Fornicari, a newly launched sex shop for "the elite". I went to the website, If you've got money to burn, and a healthy libido? You'll dig it. Who DOESNT want (or need?) a solid gold cock ring in the shape of a King Cobra for 138,000 euros? I don't know what that is in U.S dollars. I'm not a serious researcher. I'm more of a window shopper at this point.

Here's the sad news: Fornicari is the brainchild of a Scottish business woman. And the Pearl Royale was made by an Australian! What the hell? How was America out sex toyed by other countries? It's shameful. This is America! Sex toys are OUR thing! If anyone is going to sell a blinged out vibrator, I want it to be us. Right? Of course I'm right! So let's show some pride. Lets have million dollar vibes made in America, by Americans! And I'll tell you this: If an American company DID jump into the million dollar sex toy biz, that thing would be awesome! It wouldn't look like some Victorian dildo that got bedazzled in a QVZ warehouse. It'd be WAY cooler! And it would do multiple functions! And it'd probably be compatible with the newest iPhone! So wake up America. There's a market for million dollar vibrators, and we are missing it!

(Before you go. Quick question: What's the most money YOU'VE ever spent on a sex toy? Was it worth it? We'd love to know. Thanks)

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