Know Your Twitter Blue Check Mark Liberals

Your quick field guide to the left-side of Twitter

Twitter is the Serengeti Plain of social media. Depending on your perspective, it is a diverse ecosystem, rich with the many facets of humanity, or it's a vast wasteland of lost time and faith in the goodness of mankind.

Here is an attempt to make sense of this vast wasteland by doing a little cataloging of the species.

Let's start with Phylum Insanitium. This enormous category for Blue Check Mark Liberals can't be taken in all at once, so we'll subdivide it into classes here.

Class Hollywood Insanitium

This class has always been with us, but in recent weeks these creatures have begun multiplying and thriving. The first sightings of HI began with Cher, followed by the occasional Ashley Judd.

The sputtering collection of emojis, all caps and old school instant messaging shorthand is the hallmark of the typical Cher Tweet. Alas, Cher was merely a harbinger of what was to come.

From there, a whole woke breed arose from the 2016 election.

Reiner has been a vocal and annoying voice for liberalism for at least 20 years. I first noticed him pushing Proposition 10, the 1998 anti-cigar and pipe initiative in California. Riding the wave of anti-smoking legislation, he felt obligated to include cigar and pipe smokers in the list of villains trying to get your kids smoking Cohibas behind the 7-11.

And he's only gotten worse.

Then there's this girl from that TV show.

In the interest of not keeping you here all day, we'll skip Tom Arnold, Chelsea Handler, Kathy Griffin, Bette Midler, Mark Ruffalo, Sarah Silverman, Joss Whedon, Judd Apatow, Alec Baldwin, Peter Fonda and ... you get the picture. Let's wrap up with TV's tough guy, Ron Perlman.

To his credit, Perlman is a more articulate, attractive Chelsea Handler. Here he is, striking a blow against the Patriarchy.

Stay tuned as we might examine some of the other classes including class Yoko and Hystericum.

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