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A Letter to My High Needs Toddler

When one child feels like five.

Dear Toddler,

Today was just like any other. I got a text from a friend asking how today was going.

I said it was going perfectly at the moment because you are asleep.

This morning at 3 a.m. when I came to check on you, you were not in your bed. Immediately, I woke up daddy and we began the search rescue for you.

We finally found you – asleep under your bed.

Even though we had been looking for you without a peep while in the dark with our stealthy ninja parenting moves, we still managed to wake you up. I think you must have smelled us.

I went downstairs to grab my cup of coffee, and when I trekked back upstairs, every single door had been locked. You were in my bathroom playing with my feminine products like a giant box of stickers.

You found my cell phone and left me 23 selfies. Then you decided to help out daddy too. You found his work phone and made some business calls on his behalf.

I escape into the bathroom for a moment of solitude. But I give in when I see the little fingers under the door and the sobs crying for mama.

I start to make lunch and then realize you have gotten into my entire purse. You’ve wasted no time and immediately found your favorite treasure – my wallet. I found my Sam’s Club card. But where did you put my ID, credit card, and Starbucks card!?!

I take you to the park for some leisurely play time, and I end up saving your life as you climb the highest and most dangerous climbing structures. The ones that children much older than you don’t even dare go on. I have to remind myself that it's OK for you to try this.

When I had to leave for a couple of hours to go to a meeting, daddy sent me a picture of your artwork. I was relieved to see you didn't write on the walls this time.

I put you in bed each night… again and again and again.

Sleep is good for you – I promise! But I might just need it even more.

There are bills to pay, e-mails to respond to, a kitchen to be cleaned, laundry to be folded…but I feel like I hardly have enough energy just to brush my own teeth.

At the end of each night, I feel like I’ve run a marathon.

I climb into bed and see you snuggled up with daddy. As I kiss your sweet squishy cheek, all I can think about is how much I love you. And how I want you to stay our baby forever.

One day you will be older, and I know I will remember that these were the best days. Even on the days I feel like I can hardly survive them.

These are the years when mommy kisses make everything better and when all you want and need is to be held and loved.