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When Your Child Is Secretly Being Bullied

by Becky

When your child is secretly being bullied and you find out, it is enough to stop you in your tracks. Earlier this week, I received a message that made my heart break for the child. This mother was distraught and you could see the confusion and sadness in her words.

I want to share these with you today, in hopes that if you ever find yourself in similar situation, this advice would be the answer that you are searching for.

A mother wrote these words… “My 6-year-old daughter is being picked on at school by girls who until last year were her friends. They push and shove her, punch her, lock her in the bathroom at times and call her names, saying she should leave the school!

I have talked to the school and they are trying to help, but the girls do these things secretly when no one is looking. I always taught my daughter not to be aggressive but I am regretting this decision now. I don’t want her to change schools because I feel that she and I need to deal with this because I don’t want her to learn to run away from her problems. What should I do?”

We took action and reached out to our amazing Facebook readers to help. Their advice was spot-on and we had to share the advice with you, because bullying is never OK and if this advice helps one child, it was all worth it…

  1. “Get the bully’s parents involved! Take her to a self-defense class.” ~Kathy B
  2. “If the girls are threatening the child, then the police need to get involved. If nothing else, the parents will listen up and take action.“ ~Chelsealynn H
  3. “Contact the school and arrange a face to face meeting, outline the threats and comments made and ask what the school’s policy is on the matter.” ~Nicola D
  4. “Put her in some kind of martial arts class. They teach you how to stand up for yourself in these situations. It will also give her extra confidence.” ~ Katie M
  5. “File a restraining order until the school deals with the issue. There is a no bullying policy and this should not happen to any student. Go to the school board and demand action. This is unacceptable.” ~ Shannon V
  6. ” My son was six and kept coming home telling me this boy was hitting him. I kept telling him to tell the teacher, and I went to the principal but nothing was done. This went on for a couple weeks, and we do not push violence in our home, but sometimes you just have to take up for yourself. The next time he came home and told me, I told him the next time he hits you, hit him back. He never had any problems with that little boy again.” ~ Wanda M
  7. “I have a rule for my son, he has to be nice to everyone unless someone pushes him or tries to hurt him. Then he needs to push that person away from him and let his teacher know what is going on. It has worked so far.” ~Edith M
  8. “Advocate for your child, empower her, absolutely no one has the right to threaten or hurt her in any way, shape or form. Do not be passive, the danger is imminent and some children are seriously disturbed. Demand that the school takes matters into their hands, and demand a meeting with the other parents. Your child is precious. Your little one needs to look them to in the eye and say no, you are not going to hurt me. Bullies do not expect to be talked back to.” ~ Marisa M
  9. “At her age, I think protecting her and her emotions is more appropriate than teaching her to be strong. I would move her and concentrate on helping her heal. You cannot get innocence back once it is lost.” ~Lucille B
  10. “A change of school will do her self-esteem wonders. I had to change schools when I was younger and I thrived in my new environment.” ~Miranda S

Remember, your child is not in the wrong here and you need to do everything that you can to keep her safe. No matter what, listen to your child. Maybe your child just needs a shoulder to cry on and someone to take it as seriously as your child is taking it. You are the voice of your child while they are young, so do what needs to be done and talk to the school administration until it is handled. If you want more advice, I suggest reading this post about when your child’s friends become the bullies.

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