There are things that you can do to help the situation. Whining usually comes from frustration and soon it is a habit. They whine one time and see results, so they try it again. Pretty soon, they whine all of the time.
How to stop the whining:
- Talk to your child about what whining sounds like. As simple as that suggestion sounds, I can remember being a child and not understanding what they meant by “stop whining.” I thought that I was just asking, even when they would say that I was whining. I remember just not knowing what I was supposed to do. So, before you expect changes, be sure to explain it to your child.
- Tape record your child whining and show it to him/her. Explain that you are doing this so they can learn, not to make them feel bad.
- Praise the nice voice. ‘I love when you talk in such a nice voice. It makes me so happy!’
- Say “When you can ask me in a regular voice, I’ll help you.”
- Try telling them that you can’t understand whines to encourage them to talk in a different voice.
- Be patient. “When children whine they are feeling powerless. If we scold them for whining or refuse to listen to them we increase their feelings of powerlessness. If we give in so they will stop whining, we reward that powerlessness. But if we relaxedly, playfully, invite them to use a strong voice, we increase their sense of confidence and competence. And we find a bridge back to close connection.”~ Lawrence Cohen, author of Playful Parenting
- Tell them that they lose their strong voice & look for it everywhere. “Is it under this pillow?”
- Do not let it get you worked up. You have to avoid the temptation to become frustrated.
- Stick with it. A day of trying these tips won’t make a difference. A few days probably won’t, either.
- If they are over 5 years old, charge them for whining. Every whine costs a penny or nickel. They put they money into a jar, so they can see how much they are whining. If they go a full day without whining, they get the money back.
- Set ground rules when you are out. If they don’t whine, maybe they get a piece of gum or a sticker. If they do whine, even once, all bets are off.
- Think about why they are whining, if it is more than normal. What do they need? Have you been extra busy? Would one on one time help?
- Don’t whine (yes, YOU.) Your children are watching you and listening to you. Everyone melts down at some point, but try not to do it in front of your kids. They will model your behavior… good or bad.
- Stop them from whining before it starts. If your kids are talking to you, try to listen to what they have to say. If you ignore it, they will probably start whining. Frustration then leads to whining. Make sure they know that you are listening by stopping what you are doing and giving them your attention. This should stop the whining right then and there.
- Be on top of his basic needs. Hunger and tiredness would make anyone whine.
- Compliment your child for doing a great job of asking nicely and reward him by saying YES a few more times during that day, just because he asked nicely. “Well, I would have said no to ice cream, because we had some last night, but since you asked so nicely, let’s go for it!”
Most of the time, when your child whines, it is his way of asking for something when they are frustrated. It is simply a low-grade from of crying. It usually happens during the preschool years and lasts until the age of 6 or 7.
With the ideas above, you can hopefully stop the whining before it becomes a habit. Try to take the time to listen to your kids to stop the whining in its tracks. If you have more advice, we’d love for you to share it on our Facebook page. Parenting topics are always a hot topic and your ideas help other parents going through the same thing!