If these last two years taught me anything, it’s that we’re built to endure much more than our minds and bodies can even comprehend. You don’t realize the reserves of strength and resilience that are available to you until you have no other choice but to lean heavily on both.
In 2016, my mother lost her battle with pancreatic cancer, she was 63. And in 2017, my mother’s younger brother died suddenly of pneumonia, he passed at 63 too, same as my mother. I was left with a dad who was now a widow and grandmother who had survived both of her children. And in between burying her children, she buried her youngest brother making her the last living of 9 siblings. It was a lot, and it’s STILL a lot, and yet somehow we’re still here, surviving life and moving through it.
Which is precisely why my tolerance for folks who seem to thrive on chaos, especially in already stressful situations is near ZERO. Because when you overcome that kind of loss in quick succession, the first thing you need in your life after something like that is to deal with some toxic nonsense am I right?!
Some people move through life continually disturbing your spirit, by being rude, selfish, inconsiderate, disrespectful and seemingly oblivious to the damage that they're doing to their relationships, but then they’ll turn right around and feel entitled (ENTITLED!) to your attention and help whenever they demand it.
Because WHO OUT HERE is extra motivated to be around and help someone who seems to take pride in being
an asshole (Chanel! LANGUAGE) ok, a BUTTHOLE? Anybody?
These are exactly the type of people and circumstances that make self care so important. Stress, stressful situations and the people who thrive on perpetuating these environments should be kept at a safe distance when practicing self care, especially if the stressful behavior has proven, over time, to be a recurring theme.
“When stress levels rise as a result of any situation, the amount of time and attention given to self-care also needs to rise equally.” -Love Magazine
What it boils down to is this. Will you make YOURSELF a priority next year? Will YOUR peace of mind be a worthy goal and an ultimate accomplishment? Is YOUR physical health something that you'll focus on in 2018? Because if you answered yes to any one of those questions, then you have to guard your space and mind who you give your energy to. And this is not to say that you cut people off for the sake of cutting them off, that's silly, because we all have disagreements with each other at times. But for those connections or bonds that have shown to be tougher to handle over time, becoming more toxic and burdensome than effortless and caring, at some point you should remove yourself for the sake of your sanity, and more tangibly, your health.
Don't allow toxic people to feel entitled to your energy, it's the equivalent of giving someone permission to drain your battery life then just walk away without recharging you. People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you, so raise your standards, set clear boundaries and demand better from people by not being so accepting of horrible behavior. Pray for them and love them from a distance if you have to and hopefully they'll see the error in their ways and come around. Because life is way too short to be giving away your precious limited supply of energy to buttholes.
How will you protect your energy and take care of yourself in 2018? Let me know in the comments and thanks for reading.