By Angela Wills
We often see women in the position of caregiver in most households. However, the percentage of breadwinner women has grown expeditiously for decades. Mothers are the sole or primary provider in almost 40% of households with children, according to research results of a Pew Research Center in 2010. This share, which is the highest on record, has quadrupled since 1960.
Curtis Boykin, a Washington, D.C., attorney who also practices family law says, “Most of my divorce cases involve the man being the breadwinner, but that has been changing over the past few years.”
Financial experts Farnoosh Torabi, author of She Makes More has a few rules for the breadwinning woman:
Let’s Face it: You’re prone to suffer higher degrees of stress, infidelity and divorce. Men who rely on their female partners are five times more likely to cheat than men who earn equivalent rates of pay.
Rewrite the traditional story: Forget about the rescued-by-the-prince story and do what is best for you and your family. Work-life balance is not a women’s issue. Men also feel that similar tug-of-war as women do in this situation.
Balance the financial scale: Choose to make decisions together. Maintain online accounts that are accessible by both parties. Don’t over obsess about money.
Cater to the male thought process: To preserve his dignity, most husbands need to feel that he’s not isolated from the financial decisions. Make him feel appreciated for his help outside of money. His non-financial contributions should be acknowledged.
Hire domestic assistance: Outsource household chores to prevent stress and the overwhelming capacity of work. Your husband may help more around the house than he did in the past, but you’re likely to take on the bulk of the household duties. Release those responsibilities.
The parenting plan: Having children completely changes things. Strategize all aspects of your child’s future, college and beyond.
Toughen up: Ignore those rude comments about your situation. Don’t fall victim to overly intense emotions at home, social events or work.
Inhale…Exhale: Avoid the overcharge by allowing yourself one hour of ‘me time’ every day. Women experience more stress-related physical symptoms, including headaches, depression and fatigue than most men. If you’re considering marriage and you have a health salary with attractive assets, attorney Boykin suggests that you seek a pre-nuptial agreement.
By Angela Wills