A record number of new billionaires were created last year, and those fab peeps made a colossal amount of money according to Oxfam. Oh, goody! That means temp jobs without benefits like toilet scrubbing on a boat or tweezing the pubes of an heiress will increase. PHEW! I thought all those pesky teachers strikes demanding livable wages might cause the rich to say no to the child-labor-diamond-encrusted dog collar they’ve been eyeing. That invisible hand of the free market sure does work.
Oxfam showed that so much new wealth went to billionaires last year alone, that world poverty could be ended seven times over with just their $762 billion 2017 gains. How boring. On a brighter note, Ibiza will be popping off this year with a bunch of fresh new faces! A new billionaire was created every two days last year, bringing the total of people worthy of socializing with to 2,043. A separate Bloomberg study has very good news for single ladies, the top 500 billionaires, mostly men, increased their hoards by 24% to $5.38 trillion in 2017.
Sexy baldy Jeff Bezos saw a gain of $33.7 billion just in the last year. He’s the richest dude in the world and doesn’t even pay his warehouse workers enough to eat. Bonus; people think he’s liberal so you can totes bring him to Coachella and no one will throw mud at you.
“The billionaire boom is not a sign of a thriving economy, but a symptom of a failing economic system,” said Winnie Byanyima, executive director of Oxfam. It’s like she’s just steeped in negativity. Back in January, when world leaders were gathering to discuss economics in Davos, those turncoats were actually saying they want to fix the inequality problem. Byanyima suggested they need to slow executive and investor returns, increase taxes on the wealthy, increase wages and end the gender pay gap.
Byanyima added, “The people who make our clothes, assemble our phones and grow our food are being exploited.” So, people like Ivanka Trump who use slave labor should make slightly less money? Wow. “People are ready for change,” Byanyima continued, "They want a limit on the power and the wealth which sits in the hands of so few.”
Pitchforks and guillotines are sooooo 1700s. Did she not get the memo?
Watch a video about the staggering implications of extreme wealth inequality below:
By being Liberal contributor: Sarah Ficca