Evangelical on stock market: God will ensure we prosper under Trump

If you're worried about the plummeting stock market, don't be! Trump's "Jesus" totally has you covered.

The stock market slipped 666 (yes, 666) points on Friday, because you can’t make this shit up. Monday followed with the…

Lance Wallnau, a pointy-browed prosperity preacher and super Trumper went on Periscope Friday to help King Trump. He scrambled to provide rambling breathless cover for the stock market tumble, reminding followers that Trump is their American King Cyrus. (An Old Testament ruler blessed by God despite his Pagan ways.) Lance’s best line was amid some fast talk insisting America will be financially blessed under Trump, “because God is going to give him the treasures of darkness.” Isn’t darkness supposed to be the bad devil place?