My news feed has been like a meth lab full of howler monkeys. This one’s gonna take a while, so let’s dive right in…
So, a number of Congressional Republicans, in partnership with their willing media lackeys, have been desperately pushing this narrative where the whole Russia investigation was instigated by the Steele Dossier, which was in turn nothing but a maliciously fictional partisan Mad Lib, concocted by Steele over wine coolers with Huma Abedin, probably while giving Vince Foster’s skull a leisure eye-socket fuck.
Now, this spin has never been anything but desperate comically-fabricated horse poo, but when your base falls for shit like pizzagate, Benghazi, and, well, Donald Fucking Trump, the evidentiary standard is…not high.
Still, Senator Diane Feinstein realized she was sitting on concrete proof that said horse poo was indeed horse poo and not delicious, delicious cake, and so she released the Fusion GPS transcript to the entire world.
And there was, as the poet said, much rejoicing.
The transcripts are full of fun shit like “A whistleblower from Drumpfland went to the FBI and so the Dossier confirmed info they already had,” and “Steele stopped talking to the FBI because he thought they were too pro-Trump,” but of course the biggest takeaway is that Chuck Grassley and the rest of the GOP are using all of their considerable powers to shield the Grifter-in-Chief from any consequences for his many crimes, and they’ve been lying to the American people to discredit anyone working to hold him accountable.
…one of the great things about being a Democrat in 2018 is how secure we get to be in knowing we’re the good guys. Like, I’m for…free speech, an independent judiciary, and y’know, the rule of law. The other team…isn’t. I am really quite confident in the whiteness of my hat.
Boy howdy, there ain’t enough left of Steve Bannon to spread on a piece of Melba toast.
Fresh off Stephen Miller tap-dancing all over his scrotum on CNN, Bannon showed up to work at Breitbart, only to find Mamma Mercer changed all the locks. Then he got fired from SiriusXM, too. Most hurtfully, the man who only recently graced the cover of Time Magazine as the power behind the throne even lost his gig as spokesthing for the International Society of Creepy Dudes With Open Facial Sores.
The harder they fall, indeed. Can Bannon sink lower? Maybe tomorrow a hobo will show up at his front door to repossess his liver?
Speaking of the Dregs of Humanity, Disgraced-n’-Pardoned American Concentration Camp Operator Joe Arpaio announced a bid for…
Much, much more at the link below.
To read the rest of the latest brilliant comedic take on the current state of American politics from Shower Cap's Blog, please go here: “Shithead President Opens Shithole Mouth, Shits From It. And Other News.” published on January 11, 2018.