Handler: Mr. President, there will be 40,000 kids ages 11 and up in attendance to watch you speak. Just follow the teleprompter.
Trump (watching CNN and not listening): I'm not stupid, yea, I get it. Kids. Whatever.
Handler: All you have to do is talk about loyalty and explain which members of your staff were boy scouts. No need to go into politics, this is a kids event.
Trump: Yea, yea, kids, I get it.
Handler: Don't talk about that drunken party you went to with that sad old guy. Just talk about how great the boy scouts are.
Trump: I heard you the first time, dummy. Kids, yada yada.
Handler: Also don't threaten the job security of any cabinet secretaries.
Trump: Take all the fun out of it, why don't you. Fine.
Handler: Also, avoid comparing Washington to a sewer? Apparently, congressmembers think you are calling them piles of feces.
Trump: Anderson Cooper is such a loser.
Handler: Sir, seriously.
Trump: Fine. switches to MSNBC
Handler: Also, if you could avoid saying "who the hell wants to speak about politics when I'm in front of the Boy Scouts'? Right?" and then proceeding to talk for 40 minutes about politics, that'd be great.
Trump: Mika is dummy loser, she hates men, I could have banged her.
Handler: Mr. Trump, I'm going to go stick my head in an oven now.
Trump: K. Bring me a coke. SHUTUP MIKA! throws his pen at the TV.