Hey folks, Shower Cap got hit with the flu, so I’ve spent most of the time since our last update giving offerings to the Porcelain God. Anyway, it’s only been a couple of days, I couldn’t have missed much, right?
Ok, folks. Strap on your hazmat suit, we’ve got some sewage to wade through.
It’s always tough getting the kids to go back to school after winter break, and President Shartcannon is no exception. Fussy at having to work again, he tweeted the world perilously close to nuclear war, because his father never loved him and he’s not-so-secretly ashamed of every aspect of himself.
…especially his tiny, decayed, sputtering, wang.
Yes, he and Kim Jong-un squabbled over the length and girth of their nuclear buttons, as the world looked on, half horrified that the fate of all life on the planet rests in the hands of two cartoonishly spoiled adult toddlers, half darkly chuckling that perhaps this is what humanity deserves after all. Shit, if we’ve kept the Big Bang Theory on the air for more than a decade, let the missiles fly, says I.
There were other Tweets, of course. The Sunny D-Bag took credit for air safety, because he never met a positive headline he wasn’t happy to attribute to his own ill-defined powers. (I’m sure he’ll ask to be personally thanked when the McRib comes back.) He promised to give out awards for the Fakest Gnus (the Sharties?) on Monday night. But I suppose the one the threatening preemptive nuclear holocaust was probably the most newsworthy.
Oh, there was one amusing little bit of self-delusion, where the Velveeta Urinal Cake…
Much, much more at the link below.
To read the rest of the latest brilliant comedic take on the current state of American politics from Shower Cap's Blog, please go here: "Carthage Day for Steve Bannon, and Other Madness" published on January 4, 2018.